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No seriously. Close your eyes and tell me what you think South Beach would look like and become if casinos were allowed? C’mon, tell the truth..it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up doesn’t it. Can You Imagine Casinos On South Beach?
In today’s Sun-Sentinel, Michael Mayo opines that South Florida would be Las Vegas’ worst nightmare if casinos were allowed on South Beach. To paraphrase the words of the immortal Jackie Gleason..how sweet it would be!
Mayo writes..”The shame of this is beachfront resort casinos are what Florida should have based its gambling policy on long ago. Can you imagine how much the state could have made if it authorized a dozen casinos in tourist areas - say Key West, Miami Beach, Hollywood, Fort Lauderdale, Boca Raton, etc. - with a bidding war up front from casino companies for the licenses and then a healthy rake of the profits?”
Nightmare for Las Vegas? Absolutely! Let’s look at the pros and cons. Desert v. Beach. That’s an easy one. Game over! Everything after that wouldn’t matter. The international, multi-cultural ambiance of South Florida, and in particular South Beach would make complete sense.
One could not even imagine the impact that full fledged casinos would have on South Florida. However for all of the reasons that casinos would make sense here, there are the same reasons why it may never happen. There is so much money, power and influence in Las Vegas and Atlantic City that each of the players in those towns knows what would happen should South Florida muscle in on their party.
Heck, half of New York and Jersey already hang out here anyway so you might as well go ahead and close up Atlantic City if we were to be allowed casinos down here. Vegas on the other hand would turn into the “other” place people go when they can’t afford to come to South Florida. It would become the casino mecca for the Walmart crowd. Sort of like Branson is for Nashville. Yikes!
But, as Mayo says, we can only dream. Having an argument for casinos in South Florida is like arguing about playoff games in college football. Ain’t ever going to happen!
Our brethren to the north of us up don’t think that we sinful South Floridians can take care of ourselves and that we all will become drug dealing pimps and hoes. We’ll all lose our religion and become shameful gambling addicts. Celebrities like Matt Damon, and Jennifer Tilley would be hanging out with common riff-raff playing poker. We’ll drink and carry on and beat our wives and it will just be anarchy. We’ll flock to concerts from the likes of Celion Dion, Elton John and OMG…Barry Manilow. We’ll engage in baseless fornication like it’s 1980. We’ll recklessly and without thought, spend OUR hard earned money in a declining economy and worst of all…we’ll congregate in large arenas and watch gladiators name Kimbo be fed to young lions to satisfy our thirst for blood. Hmm…
Anyway, excuse me and sorry for dreaming the Las Vegas nightmare!
