Hurricane Party? Hurricane Party? Yes, here in Fort Lauderdale we actually have parties when there are hurricanes. Whatever you do before the party begins, please make sure you are safe and that your guests are safe. That being said, let’s get to it!
Ok, some of you are reading this and thinking to yourselves, these people are absolutely nuts! Well, only partly. We all know that hurricanes are a serious matter but many here in Fort Lauderdale consider hurricane season a cost of living in paradise.
A storm here or there for not having to go through months of cold, snow, and dreary weather like many have in most parts of the country is a small price to pay. After all, isn’t that why we pay exorbitant insurance rates anyway?
Evacuate? That’s for amateurs and Category 3 storms and above only..maybe. We mostly stay and ride it out. So after we have battened down the hatches, it’s time to get together with a few friends, hunker down and relieve the stress with a few libations. For those here in South Florida hosting or attending hurricane parties has indeed become a part of the tropical lifestyle that brought us here in the first place.
So what makes for a good hurricane party? First of all, don’t invite these guys:
https://youtu.be/PTU2He2BIc0
“Nothings harder than a New England gangsta”? Puhleassse!
So how do we kick it in the “954”?
1. Who’s House:Well it’s gotta be at that house in the neighborhood with the generator. Hey, when the power goes out and it’s 95 degrees you’ll wish you installed one last year. ***major note*** since the power may be out for a few days, be prepared to have 5-10 people camping out. this party lasts for days sometimes. So make sure to have a supply of first aid supplies, toilet paper, weather radio and walkie-talkies. Some air freshener might not be a bad idea in case the water goes off and no one can shower for a few days. Also…a pool is a must!
a. Like I said, the water may go off for a few days and a pool bath might be the only thing available to keep things somewhat aromatic.
b. Unless you want people using the yard like Fido, you better be ready to bale water to keep the toilets flushed…yeah, ya gotta be prepared in hurricane season. This is the kind of info you don’t get from the Weather Channel.
2. Stock Up And Tell Your Friends To Bring Over their Perishable Items: A side benefit of having a generator is you won’t have to go food shopping after the hurricane. Your guests will bring over meats, fruits, and of course lots of beer and libations. You’ll have the only working refrigerator on the block and they will envy you..maybe even curse you, but they will worship you once the power has been off for a few days and they can still get cold ones from the fridge!
3. Invite The Right Neighbors:
Listen, you may be on lockdown for a few days in close proximity with some people who have absolutely nothing to do but play Madden 2009 and tip back some beers. Watch out for “that” guy and drunk girl. Also keep your eye on that feuding couple. Once she hits a few Tequila shooters things could get ugly. Nothing brings a hurricane party down faster than an impromptu domestic dispute. ***Note..keep your bedroom locked..the make-up period regarding the aforementioned couple could get kinda freaky…and make sure to hide the video cameras!***
4. Have Plenty Of Ice On Hand.
Blenders will take their toll on the ice of course but the amount of cold compresses on day after foreheads could really put a dent in ice supplies.
5. Plan An Entertainment Schedule.
Not asking you to become Julie from the Loveboat or anything, but the ladies are going to get bored watching the guys play Madden 2009 for 18 hour stretches and you definitely don’t want one of the girls making a mistake by grabbing the remote and changing the channel. Make sure you have plenty of DVD’s and DVR recordings for the women to watch. At all costs make sure you have at least 8 hours of Oprah pre-recorded and at least 6 Julia Roberts movies on hand …and the Ocean 11 movies don’t count. They’ll see right through you.
6. Candles, Flashlights, and Batteries are a must.
If you run out of gas for your generator, you are going to need all the lighting you have available to keep an eye on all of these people in your house. Ya better light that sucker up like Time Square at New Year’s. And if the generator goes out, take even more precaution and use extra security to ensure their is no breach in any of the bedroom areas. If you know what I mean..and I think you do.
Whatever you do, please stay safe and be very careful. A hurricane is not to be taken lightly. Safety always comes first. Once you are prepared for the worst, and if you do not decide to evacuate, at least have yourself a little fun. It’ll ease the stress and pass the time as easily as possible. Be smart, be safe, and if you choose to stay, have a good time!
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My response: Ummmmm. No.